long post: some new, some old, some cold to the new paw.
T-B(e)arries
is there a creepier
word than antibody?
no, the answer is
"I don't recall."
Naw. Ghome.
Fleshin' thinkin'
chocolate bars
gray brick & fire
black background + pixelated fire
Forever
share with me
Or else i'll lose my potential for reception
Actually
gonna go.
compared to that,
actually, isn't my sister over
in her mid-twenties
"Mellowski"
Middleski
Str8 Dood
Wiggley legs, I told you not to flex them.
big baby anti bodies
crashing and eating through flesh in a straw
big swinging rig comin' thru
going clamming for the sake of stringing
clambering
crabs crushed strained in cage
ghost crabbing
Now, show the adults how
many you have caught.
Arrow spider heads
underwater on a beach
flying zipping massive
coconut lasso catching
big bodies,
doses
Old keychains dangling
and looking shitty
once in a blue moon
imagine if someone
gave this to us
when we were "like",
thirteen.
The movie,
damn it,
I dunno.
in celebration
in the middle of the day
it's spicy, it's a lazy river
with rapids and
SHIT
that's probably "like",
the ultimate fucking
RIDE
to gang references
the night before is tonight
when you're on the wave
and you can't complain
you can't look at today
when yesterday is tomorrow
you can't start the bed
when the heat is on top
you can't feel the wounds
when you aren't shivering
with bumps on your skin, reminding you
when you're disinterested
memories are like children born to slave families
Days go by and don't come back
then, when you feel a bracelet of fire,
remember that it is an aggregation;
only strong in numbers.
Sue da Feds
There are several reasons to why I've done (what I've done.)
Pain can make you do something
The pain started and I had to take something
Pain can make you do anything
Pain & Pressure, Pressure & Pain
O Jesu,
The pain starts and it's like
one thousand needles in your hand
Nose, and mind
The pain starts and
You can't do anything
You're like an idiot
O Jesu,
Inside and outside
The pain is everywhere and you are debilitated
Watching and feeling people
crumble. Losing mass at an
equal ratio to gain but
feeling robbed. Watching things
get old and fearing for your health.
Pain is real and everything
when everything is beautiful -
Pain is all there is.
Hopefully the pressure will be released
and the pain is over (it might be something else)
It's not necessary to suffer, I'm not a hero
Barometric pressure? The pain is horrible.
Love. Mom.
Untitled
on a bad day,
I like it better after sunset
In a dark room, through a mirror,
I see my face in forgiving version.
I see myself in generous aversion.
Hours later I deny a fill of wisdom in consumption -
I think, moments later:
Maybe one day I'll learn to finish my soup with my bread
Until then, above,
white stars are blueberries covered in milk.
Muesli, oh thank you mama
Rat Powder
Tonight I am a Raven
Wispy voice
Raspy
Ravens are among the most intelligent
B
I
R
D
S
In Between Push, Pull, Heave
When there is phlegm in my chest,
I can
growl
like the devil.
Butt-end, burning
mass
of a cigarette
twisted out:
my escape route.
It billows, widespread
in the wind
and utters no apologies.
It has no container,
no cage, no palms
or tufts of hair to cry in -
it sings, freely as if
for the first time,
not in surrender but in
confirmation of its
wind-drawn, invisible vessel.
It smolders, with its name
and with its past.
No one wept, or judged,
analytically, even, with
great scrutiny. There were
no opaque webs, not a
single shred of doubt,
only currents.
Flying as if precise, whimsical
dotted lines had been drawn
in good spirit by some dreamer
to indicate its gentle path.
Pasteurized (Butterworth)
Hello, I'm pasture
Eyes, disdain
Flying rain
My eyes are a portrait
of pain
Ketched by a lover
Ao
Whoa
Heeeeee
Restitution
Message to Bean
HAY! Miss Bean -
if you ran away,
slammed the door or
left it wide open
I would chase you.
straight to your abode,
and I'd grip ya
tightly
like a mother,
child.
I love you -
and I don't want broken promises.
I won't accept broken promises.
Turning the key with the car on
breaks everything
Cam Ree
mama i see you movin in
rollin' in, around the bend
mama i see you movin, see you groovin'
movin' in for me
you got it, you got my eyes
i see you rollin', see you movin'
to give me a ride
you know i love you
and you return
always, with your engine hummin
baby will learn
for me, rollin' in for sweet baby
come and give me a ride in maternal empathy
see you rollin', see you rollin', aww
see you movin' see you groovin', whooo
choo
choo, choo!
nickanaym
choo, choo!
rollin'!
of water
Dick
Shit
Cunt
Fuck
Piss
Scream into
torn eyes gazing upon
increasing pitches, unrefinsed
Mar-oo Maroo Maroo
Maroom Marooom
Maroo Maroom amamamama
No apologies of babies bloody hands
No tired eyes line with puss
No shivers and goosebumps
waves that sting wounds
scabs and fresh scars
little embers on your shoulders
Worrrrr - adarooo-ooo-ooo-ooo
Whoo-aa-aa-aa-KRRIIII
Paschal Lamb
Waaa-ra-ra-ra-ra-WROOOOOOmamama
i'm your cooked guinea pig
MEDIUM WELL
4.9.10 R.A.T.
I feel rather disconnected.
Perhaps it is the feverish
blanket swimming and curling
up around my ear lobes.
My head - it's emitting heat.
Not up to par, in a room so bare
devoid of decorated walls:
I feel the same.
My pride for others, this evening,
it is all that blooms, this evening,
this chilly April evening.
My chest growls in a way that
animals are familiar with.
When I growl, they know it is an
act of necessity
I am spilling nails and hair,
not anger.
Killers are prepared by rhythm -
especially this April evening murderer -
a rhythm he seems to float upon -
he is creation and his voice is a teardrop
If the room was a paper,
I would not be able to write on it.
My metaphors are lost to others, and,
days later they are lost to me.
contradiction - 3.28.10 - "It's Better than Speaking to Yourself, I believe it now."
conversations created and contained in my head
are realistic and honest.
hopeful is my temperament -
there is a sweet voice in here
it asks me to recite poetry
i reply that i haven't memorized much
so it asks me to read from my notebook
there is not enough selection.
so, please, let's keep talking
i am going to close my eyes
and hear her again - I lied -
with eyes open I can hear her
reading my words as I write them.
if she is someone
that i have met in absolute
why am i thinking of this at all?
I love to read words for no reason
l o v e is a word
& if i had a library
it would be right next to the hardy boys (love)
and the voice of the girl
so warm and honest
would be on reserve. (my account)
i can manipulate this illusion
to battle myself
now that she is angry
she says i should stop writing
it's not so different from having someone, i suppose
Jessica's House that Evening
drunken iconoclast
accidental
accidental
hello, sweet human opposite
sexual arsenal
i like your dental
please put them on display
until we lay in lust long consummated
hello wooden statue of
ascended physical fixation
for you my brain has
tattooed upon itself your name
underwater
broken skin, remains
i swam so close to my brother
i felt the stones that he kicked up
i crooned unto my mother
until her wallet she gave up
now our regrets lay in boxes
and i'm so lazy
fuck
hello wooden pattern
can i hear you sing?
i won't do more than tickle
you with my eyes, I , king
i won't do more than run me
all across your string
what do i bring?
in the years, time is a thing
outside it's cold and
you are a bushy little thing, i bring
Remorse
rushing down the river
i am one with our father
who art not in vain
I catch a glimmer in the eye of an otter
he seems to smile at me in approval
and i continue on my way
ah ah ah ah ah ah.
and the water will
swim with my every hair
Oh, sweet melody of the current
punctuation in every pebble beneath me
they do not fear me, nor penetrate me
We do not war with each other.
tonight, my passage is swift and
subject to change
like the night when the sky has its way with it
like my eyes when my mind has its way with them
Untitled
here in this room
I am all alone
a cloister chewing on
my pearl, shivering.
Please
Don't let my heart explode
If there's anything you can do
I can't bear to think of
how the meeting would formulate
and by what grace of happenstance
the words would be exchanged
Please
Don't let my heart explode
I can feel it aching, ooh
I heard it's unhealthy
to worry about your health
so tell me, I mean give me
sweet words to regulate
My wealth
I'm wealthy
but Please
Don't let my heart explode
Oh, no no no no no no no
I'm beating
Beating nothing
I"m slowing down
Into nothing
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